First Time For Everything...

I've never had a blog before...I've never even really kept a journal...I just recently started writing songs to get some of my emotions and feelings off of my chest, but I decided this might also be a nice way to start "keeping track" of my feelings about everything going on in my life.

I don't really like a lot of people to know my inner thoughts and emotions, but for some reason, tonight, this seemed to be a good idea. So here it goes....

I've lived in Nashville now for almost 3 1/2 years. I moved here right after I turned 20 years old. Twenty years old...that is so young to be on your own. Looking back, this journey I've been on for the past 3 1/2 years has been a long and winding road, and yet every step I have taken, every curve I have made, every detour I've gone on, every crash I have had, has essentially lead me to exactly where I am right now. There have been successes and tragic circumstances, but I wouldn't take one single thing back or do anything differently, because I may not be where I am right now if it weren't for all of it.

I don't think many people can look back on life and say that they know exactly why they met every substantial person that had ever come into their life. However, since I have lived here, I can do so. It literally is like a storybook. There are so many different characters and scenes of the book, but each of them plays such an important part in my "journey to the stars".

I have been through some of the worst heartache and pain in my life since I came to this town. I have such a love/hate relationship with Nashville. I love it because I feel like it holds every dream I've ever had right under my nose. I feel like being in this city inspires me to accomplish my goals. I love driving around and feeling so comfortable with this city even though I'm so far away from home. Driving down Broadway still excites me 3 years later...I still find myself turning off my music in the car when I get to 5th avenue and rolling down my window to hear the sounds of all the different bands playing in all the different "honky tonks". I love being able to walk down the streets and see atleast 3 people I know at any given time. All of those things are what keep me here.

On the other hand...I hate the fact that I have a dream that takes me away from my family. I hate living all alone. I hate struggling to make money. I hate waiting, and not knowing how my future will turn out. I hate how anyone and everyone you meet is going after the same thing you are...and SO FEW will ever get it. I hate musicians, they break hearts. They have broken mine once or twice...or three times...but then again, they can go on my "love" list too...I hate that.

I can honestly say though, I will probably never leave this city. I've worked too hard to give up now. I have a few too many people in the back of my mind that I need to prove wrong. So I'll be here for awhile.

I guess that's kind of an "introduction" to this whole "blog" thing...I'm not gonna go into my whole life story. I have so much going on right now, emotionally, I'm drained. It wouldn't be smart for me to get into details about all of that. We'll save that for a later date...

I don't even know who all will read this...but I will try to write a few times a week and keep you posted on what's going on in my "crazy tragic, sometimes almost magic, awful, beautiful life" :)

xoxoxo

Emily